robcoyne [dot] com

As I walked through the mall, waiting any way but patiently for my haircut I came across a rather disturbing sight. There, right in the center, nestled snugly in between JC Penny and Pac Sun sat a gigantic north pole mockup, complete with wreathes, Christmas trees, and a big green chair. The only thing that was missing was good old St. Nick. Of course that’s because even Santa Claus realizes that it’s too early for Christmas.

I swear, it seems like every year that goes by places start putting out their Christmas gigs a few days earlier. Pretty soon we’ll be celebrating the fourth of July with reindeer and mistletoe, and Valentine’s Day will just be an excuse to get jacked up on Egg Nog (moreso than it may already be, that is). You can’t escape it. Just yesterday, my roomate and I were enjoying a hearty noon-thirty breakfast at the International House of Awesomecakes when lo and behold on comes Christmas music crackling over the speakers. It was Veteran’s Day for crying out loud! Shouldn’t they have been playing Sinatra or something? I bet all those veterans appreciate the fact that their holiday has been glossed over for a fat man in a red jumpsuit. Thanksgiving hasn’t even swung aroung and I’m already seeing commercials set to Jingle Bells. This is madness! (Or is it Sparta? Either way, it’s still November people!)

In other news, I’ve realized that I’m a terrible physicist. Not because I’m necessarily bad at what I do (though to be fair, the Fluids homework is kicking my ass) but rather it’s because I started this blog as a conduit through which I could channel my inner science geek, and instead it’s turned into an upscale livejournal where I whine about nothing important and hatch crackpot ideas with minimal scientific backing at best. In the days to come, I’m going to seek to remedy that. Not by changing what I’m writing - please, I love arbitrarily expressing myself - but rather by adding in a couple of regular topics. Hopefully that will include commentary about new news in physics (written in the same lovable style as everything else), and a continuing section on how we can fix physics education.

But more on that later, for now I have evil to plot and papers to grade.

Blog News, Rant Blog News, Rant

I’ve got a new thesis project.

Now, your first reaction may be to say “oh, wow, good for you! I hope you’re going to enjoy this one more than your last.” To this I would invariably answer “oh yeah, definitely, I’m pretty pumped about this one” casually omitting the fact that this is the fourth or fifth time that my advisor has changed my topic on me. Comon! I’ve LOST TRACK of how many times my thesis project has been changed. That’s a terrible thing! The worst part is, it’s only about 1/8th my fault.

You see, up until now I’ve been working with a team of scientists at the Jefferson National Laboratory on a project called FROST. In technical jargon, it’s a project exploring pion photoproduction from a frozen spin target. In layman’s terms, we’re shooting stuff at other stuff and seeing what happens when the two things explode. Anyway, my role in all of this has been multivalued. At first I was assisting with the Time of Flight Calibrations, then my collaborator dropped off the face of the planet, didn’t respond to emails, and ended up finishing the project two months later on her own without any of my input. One project down.

From there I moved onto the Photon Tagging division. The director didn’t see fit to give a measly Master’s Student any work, so that flopped. After that came the two coding projects. The first was ultimately scrapped (as it wasn’t superb thesis material) and the second was finished. That’s right. We got all of the calibration code switched over to the new OS (Fedora 8, up from the older Red Hat 5). Turns out, my advisor never passed along the message, so the program director repeated all of my work one week and essentially killed off my participation in that aspect of the project.

So what does that make this? Project number 5? At least I don’t have to deal with anyone else doing my whole project for me, because now I’m working here on campus rather than in Virginia. I’m getting all of the code running on the PS3’s and we’re going to benchmark it. This is something I can get behind, and it’s something that’s attractive to potential grad schools. I’ll get into that more in a later post (time to get back to class), but needless to say I’m sick of the grad school gods shitting on my academic future and I’m going to make this one work.

That is all.

school Rant, school, thesis

My favorite part about living with Adam is watching television and being snarky about it. There’s nothing quite like making a sarcastic comment to finish the thought of some actor or public figure taking a breath, or responding to things that clearly request no response. I guess it’s a way to lash out against the stupidity of television, or at the very least, how cliche it so often is. The snarkiness isn’t limited to the standard television stuff though, even presidential debates are fair game.

Obama: …and veterans are asking how they can get on disability.

Me: They can’t. They shouldn’t have had their arm shot off.

It’s fucking fantastic! Not because I’m serious (quite the contrary, we need to support the people who’s sacrificed so much for the good of our country), but because it’s hilarious. A healthy degree of sarcasm, injected into the serious topics covered in a presidential debate, results in an enjoyable experience and it can be used to bring out some good criticism of what’s being said.

McCain: Blah blah blah, something about cutting ethanol something or other, blah blah blah.

Me: Don’t we add ethanol to gas to help try to reduce the cost of gas?

Adam: Well yeah, but what about those people who need their drinkie drinkie?

The whole thing that strikes me about the political debate process though, is the cyclic nature of it. In any given question, each candidate’s answer invariably ends up wrapping around to something completely unrelated. “Blah blah blah, war in Iraq, blah blah blah, dependency on foreign oil, blah blah blah, alternative energy, blah blah blah.” Yes, that’s all well and good senator, but the question was about Russia. “Oh right, well I guess in that case, it’s important that we continue to improve the education of our country.” The worst part about politicians - all politicians - is that they can’t say anything directly. Be blunt people! The truth will set you free, but it can’t do that when you don’t know what the fuck the truth is.

It’s not like that’s a big surprise. After all, it’s no secret that politicians always give you the runaround. Take the example of this question, posed in the debate (paraphrased for clarity)…

With the 700 billion dollar bailout on the table, how will this re-appropriation of government funds affect your plans as president.

At this point, both Obama and McCain talk about their visions for their presidency. Outline their spending plans, and pretty much give you the same rhetoric you’re used to hearing from both of them. After that, the moderator asks a follow up question…

So neither of your plans are going to be significantly impacted by this 700 billion dollar bailout?

Each one takes their turn reiterating their plans, skirting around the matter at hand which is quickly becoming clear. After all, the moderator is trying to get them to discuss how they’re going to continue with their plans, when the budget is going to be almost a trillion dollars smaller than it was at the beginning of the campaign. Of course, neither of them touch that factor. The poor moderator rephrases…

Perhaps I could rephrase the question to make this more clear… how will your plans function with less money to draw from?

Then, finally, they each answered the question. Kind of. In 30 second bursts that skirted around the issue. What the hell? Answer the question. This isn’t rocket science people. Rocket science involves all sorts of crazy physics and math. A debate requires two things: 1) the ability to think, 2) the ability to say what you’re thinking. It seems that most politicians lack the latter of the two.

Anyway, the moral of this story is be snarky. It helps keep your view of what’s going on realistic. In the end, you have to make sure that you keep a critical eye to the issues, and don’t get wrapped up in the language and bravado of the candidates. Once you cast off all the gunk by dismissing it in its entirety, you’re just left with the good, creamy filling.

By which I mean, I just lost the game.

Good night.

General, Rant Politics, Rant

[Preamble: went to the Red Sox game on September 10th, this entry was written on the way home on the subway back to my car.]

Here I am, on the green line after leaving. the game. early. I don’t do that. We were in the 14th inning, and the game was tied 1-1. There were two out, and we left. As we passed the Cask and Flagon, I saw there were runners on first and third. As we passed the hokey T-shirt vendors, we got the news we were down 4-1. Carlos Pena had hit a 3-run home run.

It happened because I left.

Now, I’m a rational person. I believe in logic, and I’m skeptical about any higher powers besides Murphy and the Law of Averages. With that in mind, I have to ask myself why it is I believe that somehow the fact that I left altered the outcome of the game? Call it chaos theory, I suppose. Here’s the scenario: when I left my seat I upset an empty coke bottle, which rolled down the stairs and tapped someone on the foot. They were startled and looked down and in doing so the program they were holding created a small wind current in the bleachers. That wind current caused the flags in center field to rustle, which generated another wind current. That wind current, warmed by the stadium lights, rose higher and higher, displacing the colder air as it went, sending it down towards the field. The screams of the fans in center field then pushed that wind current onto the field, moving towards home plate, where the unexpected pressure differential caused Mike Timlin’s pitch to travel a little differently, and rather than just missing it - and grounding out to second - Carlos Pena hit it dead on and deposited it into the stands.

There. Perfectly logical.

Admittedly, that scenario is about as likely as Karma smiting me for leaving the game, so really it’s six of one or a half dozen of the other. Either way, I know that the reason it happened was because I left. I say that because this sport - this team - is so important to me that I somehow have to justify my dedication to it. If my love for the Red Sox can somehow govern whether they succeed or fail, then I’ll pay the 150 dollar cab fare back to the T-station so I can stick out those last few innings and see my team win.

Everything is all about self edification.

The worst part is, there was an elderly couple in front of us celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary. They came up all the way from New Mexico. They’re walking back to their hotel disappointed because I left early. That sucks.

P.S. This won’t happen again.

P.P.S. Final score: 4-2 loss. Red Sox tried to mount a comeback but Bay struck out and Cora flied out with runners on first and third. Blah.

Rant, Self-Reflection baseball, Rant, red sox

My roommate and I were sharing a male bonding moment over a Sci-Fi Channel showing of Total Recall, and the following dialogue came up:

The TV: Good, now take the pill and put it in your mouth… swallow it!
Adam: It goes without saying, but “it’s a trap!”
Me: Your tastebuds can’t repel that magnitude of flavor!

Given a set of basis elements {you’ve seen Total Recall, you’re any kind of Star Wars fan, you’ve seen the Robot Chicken Star Wars episode}, the preceding dialogue will make sense if and only if your experiences (set in the plane of entertainment) have real-valued components in each of these bases. Add in the fact that just beforehand we managed to slip in a timely “why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?” and you’ll get a feeling of just how epic this viewing of Total Recall was.

But guess what: that’s not why I’m writing (surprise!!). Instead, as I was wandering into the bathroom shortly after the above interchange, I had a thought: why is it that the visions of the future from the past are always so. god-damned. wrong. I know this isn’t an original thought, and I know it’s hard to predict the future, but is it so wrong to expect that society would improve the way it does simple things as time goes on? Example: automobile design. Why the fuck would you design non-aerodynamic cars in the future? Is there some kind of special anti-friction coating you put on everything so you can make it look like whatever you want? Seriously. Don’t be dumb. If you’re going to envision the future, picture a place where science continues to seek to improve the world around us by laying the groundwork for new, efficient technology that builds on concept’s we’re already aware of.

With that said, Total Recall is still a kick ass movie, and I have to say… to their credit, they got a few things right. *cackle*

Geek, Rant Geek, Rant, scifi

Call me an idealist, call me gullible, call me any number of things, but I like Barack Obama. Not because I’m a registered democrat, not because I hated Bush, and not because I don’t like McCain (although all these things are true). I like Barack Obama because he’s the first political figure I’ve heard since Bill Clinton (who was elected when I was 8, by the way) who’s actually spoken to the issues that I want to hear about. Not only talk about them, talk about them from a position that I agree with. Things that I’ve been bitching about for the last eight years. Green energy, the quality of eduction in our county, all of the biggest things that Bush fucked up are in Obama’s sights, and there’s a part of me that has grown since I first saw him campaign that listens to all of the calls against him saying “this guy is crazy! He’s such an idealist, he’s so naive!” To those, I finally say this:

“Obama is an idealist, but fuck. Sure, you have to be a little bit silly and naive to believe that this kind of stuff is going to work, but you have to believe in something to have any hope of getting it done! If it takes a little bit of naive idealism for Barack Obama to believe his message of change then sign me up. It’s more important that you believe in what you say, than merely say what you believe.”

I could go on a long political rant here, but I won’t. All I will say is that I support 1) the growth of eco-friendly alternative energy solutions and feel they are the future and 2) improving educational systems by placing a focus back on all disciplines, most notably science, but also the arts and other aspects forgotten by current legislation. Now, there are people out there that won’t agree with my point of view. That’s fine. Of all the Republican candidates, I’m afraid of John McCain the least. If you support him, good for you. He can’t possibly be any worse than Bush (though Murphy would no doubt say otherwise).

This post really wasn’t motivated with the intent to act as a soapbox to preach my political ideals. This is a blog dedicated to my life as a physicist, and in science we have no room for this propagandized bullshit. That is the point of this post. I’m curious why people - and in fact, our political system - can’t borrow a little bit more from a scientific perspective. The scientific method, in it’s purest spirit, is simply a method of looking at a problem. Faced with a problem, we look at all of the available evidence, we analyze it in a reasonable manner, and based off of experience and observation we draw conclusions. If those conclusions “make sense” then it is easy to convince others that they are “true.” Likewise, if the conclusions do not make sense, or are not founded in reason, then they are quickly dismissed, and any respectable scientist would have to agree - even the one that may have proposed the conclusions in the first place.

That is not to say science is not with out it’s subjectivity. Quite the opposite! Too many times I’ve read about scientists that refuse to give up on things because of principle, or shoot things down merely because it disagrees with what they have done in the past. There’s too much politics in science it seems, at least in the sense of organized science. The basics - though - continue to guide the rest of us. Those who don’t really care if they’re wrong, because they’re curious to know what is right. I study physics to learn more about the universe and to improve the human condition, if I’m doing it wrong then I would expect someone to tell me.

So if there’s so much politics in science, why can’t there be more science in politics?

The problem is, so many people don’t seem to have any sense when it comes to political issues. Around this time of year, it becomes less and less about the candidates stances on issues, and more and more about the “intangibles” that infuriate or frustrate the general populace. Obama is too young, McCain is too old, Obama is too idealistic, McCain is too inadequate. These subjective opinions - while valid in a sense - have no place in a well informed decision that will affect the direction this country takes over the next four years. People should be drawing their conclusions based off of the empirical observations they have seen regarding the candidates and their parties. Judge Obama and McCain for what they have done that qualifies them to be President. Judge them for what they intend to do with the Presidency. Above all else judge them for how they stand on the issues. Do it this way, because I have a newsflash for you: the rest of the stuff? It doesn’t matter.

Is Obama a Muslim? No. Would it matter if he was? Also no, we’re a country that’s supposed to pride itself on diversity and acceptance.
Is Obama young? Yes. Is he too young? No. Clinton was younger, and look what he did as president. Kennedy was younger, and look what he did as president.
Is Obama an idealist? Yes. But so what? I’d rather have a candidate that believes in the potential of this country than one who touts more of the same.

You can make similar arguments for McCain, I’m sure. I won’t make them, because I don’t support him, but anyone who dismisses him because he’s “too old” or “just another Bush” needs to sit down and shut up and learn a bit about him before they spout crap like that.

I’m pleading with everyone out there to be scientific about your choice for Presidency. Look at the issues, look at the candidates, and make your decisions based on the facts. You owe it to yourself and to your country to do nothing less.

General Politics, Rant